i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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