I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize