He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
