He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
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