I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
