Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Dignity is for republicans.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
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