I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
