that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Is it penis luge time yet?
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
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