one might say we're banned from that church
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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