thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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