can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
