YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize