i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
