I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
