is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
