you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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