SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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