You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
