No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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