This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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