Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
