You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i already hear my dad disowning me
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
