Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
