this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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