Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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