Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize
