I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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