puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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