i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
No subtext here. People are naked.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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