Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
