a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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