Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
It's blow job season.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
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