I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Randomize
