he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
as a side note pls kill me
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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