Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Randomize
