i'm lost and i look like a hooker
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Shame - the story of my life.
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