no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize
