just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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