if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Cover your peen. We're going out.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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