dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
