I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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