The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Sorry my hands just texted you
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize