Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
