he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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