So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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