yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
