That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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