Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
