You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
