guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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