Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
