i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
