no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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