We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
