do herpes really smell.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
