Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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