He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize