The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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