The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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